It’s tough to see someone you love experience deep disappointment. The temptation is to either try to fix it or help them rationalize away the hurt.
I’ve made progress in attempting neither.
Disappointment is a painful teacher. Disappointment is a powerful and necessary teacher.
I’ve sat in her classroom quite a few times across the past couple of years, especially 2011. I’m richer (not materially, but in other dimensions) because of enduring the course. Pretend she’s not there, and it only prolongs the pain and arrests development. Own up to the agony of it all and see what you can learn and apply, and joy comes in the morning.
More and more, our society offers a plethora of antidotes to disappointment. Didn’t get the grade you wanted, or the job you dreamed of landing? There’s a med for that. Didn’t make the team, get included in the cool circle of friends, or land the girlfriend you pursued? Here’s a trophy anyway. The only thing we have to fear is…disappointment.
Face reality. You wanted it. You didn’t get it. It hurts.
But what is still very good in your life, something you can build upon? Embrace it. Move forward. Even better doors will open.
That’s not rationalization. That’s what I’ve lived again and again.
